I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
