Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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