You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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