You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
