Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
