I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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