i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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