if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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