I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
