Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
