Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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