Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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