More tranny stories later!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
