I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
