PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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