You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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