I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
