you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
