Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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