direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
