I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
