she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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