WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
