There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
