I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
