i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
