Got a toothbrush?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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