Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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