my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
