they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
