i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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