would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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