Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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