I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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