Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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