On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
