So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
