I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
