I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
