Dual....:-)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
