Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
