I'm jealous of your bromance
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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