Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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