Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
