What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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