There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
