Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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