Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
