well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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