i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
