only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
